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SMALL ACHES

We are all aware of the great discomfort that small aches and pains can cause to even the most robust of human beings. I suffered from such an ache – commonly called a toothache – on my recent visit to the United States. It started suddenly and lasted for many days, finally disappearing as mysteriously and abruptly as it originally came on. But while it was with me, I felt myself quite impaired.

My usually cheerful disposition noticeably darkened, my necessary rabbinic patience (which is almost legendary) frayed and I just plumb did not feel well with myself. I was much more disturbed, almost dismayed, by my reaction to the toothache than by the actual toothache itself. I have often wondered why the brain, which is so wise and intelligent, and the human body, which is so strong and powerful, should be so adversely affected by a small ache in one of the many dark corners of our existing body. After all, it is only a minor pain, not anything that remotely could be considered life threatening, God forbid.

And we are constantly preached to the leaders/coaches in the sports field, who pay their heroes astronomical wages, to play through the pain. So let us pull ourselves together and stop whining about our small aches and pains. Right? But like many things in life, this is much easier to say than to truly accomplish. I have always maintained a high threshold for pain, but nevertheless this last toothache gnawed at my physical, emotional and spiritual well being. Could it be that I am getting old finally and aches and pains are the way my body has to inform me of this? I hope not, but who knows?

The Torah also seemingly deals with minor aches and pains in the world of our souls – of little good deeds that we trample under our feet without realization and therefore without remorse. These small sins look minor when compared to the crimes of murder, robbery, kidnapping and immoral behavior. Our souls should not feel very troubled about them since we don’t see these actions as being especially important to our spiritual well being.

A little gossip, stretching the truth slightly, gaining a financial advantage through sharp business activities – all of these are only minor aches and pains to the recesses of our souls and our collective conscience. So, what is the big deal? Why does the Torah and its rabbis keep harping on small picayune issues when they are apparently so minor in the great cosmic universal scheme of things? So, it took a toothache, a minor and dull ache, to remind me that my soul reacts to minor aches and pains in the same fashion as does my body.

We are so constituted that even minor aches have to be dealt with properly and in a timely fashion. Otherwise, our ability to function normally and efficiently is seriously lessened. Well so too is it with our souls. All of the minor sins combine to inflict upon our soul and spiritual well being a lasting ache that if not treated properly will cause deep emotional and spiritual depression and acute discomfort.

There are two ways to treat minor aches and pains. One way is to visit the doctor or dentist to discover the root (no pun intended) cause of the problem. This method is burdensome, oftentimes expensive and demanding of time and effort. Because of this, most human beings eschew doing so immediately upon the onset of the ache or pain. Instead, most people follow a second easier and cheaper way of dealing with aches – they take pain killers that may temporarily provide relief from the symptoms but are never a permanent solution to the problem. We hope to be able to wish the problem away, just as was the case with my toothache, but in the vast majority of cases that is really not to be expected or is it likely to happen.

Well the same is true for the aches that afflict our soul. The month of Elul bids us not to look for quick fixes that mask the true nature of the problem. This is a month of healing, of looking deep into one’s true self and nature and of dealing with root causes and not only with superficial symptoms. This takes effort and it is very taxing emotionally and psychologically. It requires a reckoning with one’s own self and many times this is as painful and difficult as the original soulful ache itself. But it is unavoidable if we wish to save ourselves from further recurring spiritual aches and pains.

Shabat shalom.

Berel Wein