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PUNCTUALITY
All of us have experienced the discomfort of arriving at a wedding/chuppa called for 6:30 PM and not having the actual ceremony begin till after 8PM or sometimes even later. I have never been able to fathom what it is within us that allows us to so abuse the time and patience of others. The fact that “everyone does it” and that this is a common social malady in our circles in no way serves to justify this behavior.
My father-in-law of blessed memory was a product of the Mussar movement of pre war Lithuanian Jewry. He was punctilious to arrive at any rabbinic function to which he was invited before the time called for. He told me: “I never want anyone to become impatient having to wait for my arrival.” I have always tried to follow his example with varying degrees of success in my own rabbinic career. Early in my stay here in Israel I was invited to officiate at a wedding here in Jerusalem.
The wedding was called for 6:30 so I arrived t 6:10 to complete the necessary documents and prepare for the wedding ceremony. Imagine my consternation when I arrived at the hall and discovered that I was there before the bride and groom and their respective families, the photographer, the band and the catering staff! The wedding ceremony took place at 8:30 and I was vastly disturbed that no one thought that this was somehow not really acceptable behavior. Since then I try to avoid being the first person to arrive at the wedding hall though no matter how hard I try I always seem to come too early.
I find it interesting that people who are exacting and punctilious regarding times of prayer, reciting the Shema and other religious and ritual obligations are yet so callous regarding other people’s time and patience. Rabbi Yisrael Lipkin of Salant said that the other person’s earthly comforts that I can provide are the basis of my merits in the World to Come.
The Israeli medical system creates an appointment schedule that any sensible person knows that it cannot be kept to. Thus a great deal of time is spent in impatient waiting for appointments that are always running considerably late. This helps to create the climate in society that the other person’s time is of little value. But we are all aware of the precious nature of time. It is irreplaceable in life. All standards of efficiency and productivity are based upon effective use of time.
People of genius may be allowed tolerance for being unaware of time but we ordinary mortals are usually not granted such leeway. Almost all major sports contests are governed by the measurement of the exact passage of time. In a world that produces and sells millions of timepieces annually, destroying other people’s time needlessly seems to be most paradoxical. There are people who purposely come late in order to make an impression. I always feel that the impression, no matter how great the person may be, is a negative one.
In the Jewish world there were and are different societies and those societies differ in their attitude towards punctuality. German Jews and certain sections of Lithuanian Jewry were famous – even notorious – for their punctuality in matters of time. Other parts of world Jewry were just as famous and notorious for their tardiness in appointed times that were scheduled. It seems that the surrounding non-Jewish culture was of great influence in creating these wide differences within the Jewish world as far as punctuality was concerned.
In an age where there were no watches or accurate timepieces present there is an opinion in the Talmud that there is a one hour leeway in judging the correct time. But that tolerance no longer applies to our age when Friday eve candle lighting is exact to the minute as is many other measurements of time relating to the strict observance of Jewish ritual. We do want to keep God waiting, so to speak.
Well, we should not fall into the bad habit of keeping our fellow human beings waiting as well. People expect a certain leeway in scheduled times and events but that is usually only of a few minutes. Exceeding that tolerance is certainly an abuse of others and of their time. And any unnecessary abuse of others in any fashion is against Torah standards and values. Seeing life through torah values in all of its aspects - and not only in terms of strict law and ritual is the necessary moral compass that every Jew should strive to possess.
