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GENERATIONAL RECOGNITION
With the help of the Lord I have reached an age where my older great grandchildren recognize me as a person of interest in their young lives. They still find it hard to fathom how their grandfather or grandmother - such old people in their eyes - can have an even older father. But somehow they sense that I do fit in somewhere in their family and their lives.
As one of them put it as I stood beside my son: “Two zaydies.” I already have great grandchildren in schools, studying Torah and winning “masmid of the week” awards. So I feel that I am able to recognize them (though I admit that it is difficult at times to keep track of all of their names) even if they as yet don’t really recognize me and place me in the proper generational slot in our family.
I am from a generation that rarely had contact with living grandparents and where seeing and communicating with living great grandparents was one of the wonders of the world. I was one of the few amongst my friends that knew and had a loving relationship with a living grandparent – my maternal grandfather - until I was ten years of age.
The blessings of longevity that the Lord has bestowed upon our times through the advances in technology and medicine, has enabled great grand parenthood to become almost a norm in many sections of our society. My father lived to see a fifth generation but the Talmud teaches us that the emotional connection of family does not really extend beyond great grand parenthood.
In any event, when dealing with great grand parenthood the emotional flow is pretty much one way from the old down to the young. It is usually too early in life for the sense of the greater family to be appreciated by the young. It is only when we grow older – usually much older – that we begin to appreciate family relationships and generational bonds.
There is an intense desire among many Jews to determine their ancestry and to learn who their great grandparents were. I receive regularly requests sent through my Destiny Foundation by Jews from all over the world asking if I can somehow help them trace back their family lineage. This break in the generations has many causes to it – the Holocaust, assimilation, the Left and Communism, the loss of the feelings of Jewish identity, late marriages, if any at all, etc., are all contributing factors to this dissonance in Jewish family life.
Interestingly enough many of these requests always begin with the plaintive statement: “I think I am descended from a great rabbi…” Many times that is really true. In fact, I believe that all of us are probably descended from some great rabbi and it is this subconscious realization that gnaws at our soul and conscience and piques our curiosity regarding our past.
It is one thing to learn of the past from a book or even from photographs. It is a completely different experience to learn of the past from a living person, from one’s own great grandfather. So even though my great grandchildren are very young and not overly friendly to me as of yet I have set for myself the goal of talking to them about our family - where we come from and what we represent. Maybe decades later down the pike they will recall the words of their great grandfather and do the same for their offspring as well.
The Torah sets for us the requirement to tell our story into “the ears of your children and your children’s children.” Tragically, today there are so many Jews who do not know our story and are ignorant of our narrative as to our place in the world and in history. The contribution of our older generations in rectifying these glaring omissions is of immense value and necessary importance.
Hillel’s words, “If I am not for me then who will be for me?” are really the clarion call of the hour in our current situation. Children that know and appreciate the fact that they know and can communicate with grandparents and great grandparents have an advantage in their own personal lives. They are never again truly alone nor feel abandoned.
A strong sense of past fuels an ambitious and industrious drive for a better future. That is and was how Jewish survival and success was always achieved and will continue to be achieved. I pray that my great grandchildren remember me for good. That probably is the greatest personal achievement that a doting but aging rabbinical great grandparent can accomplish.
Shabat shalom.
Berel Wein
