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ALL FROM THE SAME HAND

Yosef Mendelovitch, the famous Prisoner of Zion who helped bring down the "Evil Empire" of Soviet communism and atheism, relates that he decided to wear a kippah while in prison. He cut out a piece of cloth from his flimsy prison garb and placed the cloth on his head. Though the prisoner warden ordered him to remove the cloth from his head, it being a violation of prisoner clothing regulations, Mendelovitch was hauled before the KGB commander of the prison. That worthy also ordered him to remove the kippah from his head and Mendelovitch again refused. The KGB captain drew his revolver from its holster and pointed it at Mendelovitch and again gave him the order. Mendelovitch persisted in his refusal. The KGB captain now thought that perhaps his superiors in Moscow would not approve of his shooting a notoriously well-known prisoner for refusing to uncover his head. Confused and embarrassed, he reholstered his pistol and placed his head down on the desk. Distraught, he asked Mendelovitch: "Are you not afraid of death?" Mendelovitch responded: "I want to live and leave here. I don't want you to shoot me, but there is a fundamental difference between you and me regarding the fear of death. I believe that death comes from the same hand that has given me life and therefore I do not allow it to overly terrify me. You think that death comes from the hand of Comrade Brezhnev and therefore you are terrorized by its very contemplation."

I thought of this classic confrontation between good and evil when I experienced the full gamut of human emotions a few weeks ago. My beloved father passed away then and I was left without him for the first time in my decades of life. Sadness and emptiness entered my life in a fashion that until then I had never previously known. When my mother passed away thirty-two years ago, I grieved greatly but I still had my father with me. As long as my father was still alive, I remained a child. Now a complete change of status occurred for me. I now became the elder of our family; I was now the old man of the clan. At the very same time, immediately after arising from the shiva chair of mourning, I flew to the United States to attend the wedding ceremony of my granddaughter. Even though the halacha permitted me to only attend the chupa ceremony itself at which I was an officiant, I was not able to be present for the meal and the celebration. Nevertheless, I felt the joy and achievement of a Jewish grandfather being able to be present to see a new generation beginning family life as part of the never-ending chain of the Jewish people. And I thought to myself that both of my present experiences and emotions came from the same hand - from the Lord Who disposes life and death, joy and sadness, hope and faith. In my realizing this truism of Jewish teaching, both emotions were made more meaningful and important to me.

Jewish history is replete with glorious triumphs and abject defeats. Jerusalem destroyed and rebuilt has been a constant theme in the story of the Jews. The resilience of the Jewish world is one of the wonders of all human history. I feel that the ability to continue and to absorb the full swing of emotions entailed, almost by the definition of being a Jew, is traceable to the realization that all comes from the same hand - that there is really a guide to our lives and to historic events. King Solomon in Kohelet taught us: "A generation leaves and a generation arrives and the earth remains forever." The past generation leaves according to the will of the Creator and the new generation arrives also according to God's will. And the earth also remains forever, again according to God's will. Everything comes from the same hand and therefore the events of life, though mysterious and sometimes enormously difficult and inexplicable, somehow are more bearable because of this realization.

I think that this is reflected in the swing of emotions experienced every year here in Israel in the back-to-back commemorations of Yom Hazikaron and Yom HaAtzmaut. Sadness and joy appear one after the other. But subliminally this is acceptable and alright. Somehow this is all from the same hand. Understanding this gives greater meaning to both days and the events that they commemorate.

Berel Wein